Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
