I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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