I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
