I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
