How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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