I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
