Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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