Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
