I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We left the knife in your bed.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
