can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
