So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
