I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
