i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
