Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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