I met the friendliest cop last night
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
