that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
