Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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