I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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