I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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