I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
