big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
a search helicopter?!
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
