i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize