i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
