That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
