Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
