Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
