she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize