Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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