Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
