is your mom at the bar?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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