do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
