So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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