I need help removing her.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
