there's paper in my vomit.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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