btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize