do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
