I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
