you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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