found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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