I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize