"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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