Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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