i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize