Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
