u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
why do cheetos always look like penises
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
