kristin has been a bad kristin
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
