i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
