Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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