The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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