don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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