I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
