I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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