weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
