What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
